I Wish That I Could Say

That these are the things I thought love was. 

 

Wish I could say that none of these things were part of my experience in my past relationship. But I compromised, I overcame. Forgetting the retaliation that occurred last week, and drug into this week. And not comprehending what even sparked it.  Still no apology for the feeble drama created. 

 

So it must make everything o.k.., and easy to forgive and forget,  right? Yes. Always. I can easily be at peace. It's a choice. 

 

I also choose to step away from friendship. I respect myself to know that not a hint of remorse or apology was given for the immature shenanigans on Facebook.

If you think that was all sarcasm, fun, not to be taken personally, WHO ARE YOU? Who repeatedly throws tantrums like a child and thinks it is o.k? Well, if we still have friends from Jr. High who also participate with you in bullying people, then you've found the group that is at the same vibration as you. I have nothing in common with that environment or you anymore.

 

How many times does the power of control have to be denied before it can be admitted to??? I don't need to have that answer. 

The day I walk away is the day i make a point. Today. 

 

Yes, I am have morals and a higher standards, and will be the only person whom I seek for that guidance going forward. 

 

You stated you can be my friend. I would want  to be my friend, too!  All of the un-mindful things you've created to damage who I am, only to subject myself to those experiences over and over, I just am saying NO THANK YOU to your version of friendship. 

#truth

Manipulative Controlling Behavior Tactics

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

I Wanted to share some very suttle tactics that eventually lead  to more evident and frequent behaviors that occurs on a daily basis.

- Controlling sleep habits (ie, deliberately interrupting sleep with loud noises, shaking one awake). wanting to have conversations at odd hours of the night

- Controlling email, social media, texts, etc. or making references  or comments about or to partner/spouse using these vehicles

These controlling behaviors, without laying a violent hand on someone, are not about "courtesy, decency, kindness or civility." They are learned behaviors by disturbed people designed to control the people in their lives. In my personal experience, these activities were far more abusive than the physical violence in either home. Watching one parent stand over the other while they cooked, ate, spoke on the phone, slept - the emotional impact is traumatic and abusive. On everyone in the home.

THE WORST KIND...

Structural, crippling emotional abuse should be a criminal offense
and thus should be punished as such. If you strip a person of their sense of worth and degrade them to the point that they unrealistically feel that they can't stand on their own, how can that NOT be abuse? It takes a toll, over years of repeating to  mentally break down a person to the point of feeling nothing at all.

These are unpleasant memories I've allowed myself to remember and be experienced again as if they just happened today.  Releasing them and letting  go of them for good is so important in the healing process...

Emotional abuse is a difficult  experience to go through, yet  rarely women  stand up to defend themselves against or go forth to pursue in court. Proving it is as hard as the attacks themselves.

A black eye is difficult to look past and a shattered sense of self by the words and acts of another...