If anything, I've attempted, in many ways, to explain this to people in understanding why hypnotherapy IS THE ONLY THING that can change beliefs that no longer serve us.
This article explains it best...may we all rid ourselves from the "hurt people HURT people" syndrome....
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What are core values and belief systems and how are they created???
You might respond with something like my job, my husband/wife/mate, my car and so on. Let’s for a moment think of values as something that is not a material thing but more so an intrinsic thing. An intrinsic vale is something that has worth to us, but we can’t necessarily quantify that in terms of material items or even numbers.
Now when we talk about values, words might come to mind like freedom, trust, respect, love, compassion and so on. You can easily see the difference, but noting that these things do really mean something to us. As all things go, each person will not only have different values, they will have a different ordering or priority of what’s important. Taking one more step beyond that and probably the most important difference - is what that value actually means or translates to in real life.
For instance one woman’s version of love might include getting flowers on a regular basis, while another doesn’t like flowers receiving flowers and things it’s a bribe or sorts. For the first woman getting flowers from her husband shows to her, in her value system, that he loves her. If the second woman was to receive flowers, it could be suspect or even painful.
This is a simple example, but I think you get the picture. In any given value, for any given person there will be different reason on how that values translates to their real world situation. These reasons or guidelines for a given value are often referred to as “the rules” behind the value. The rules for the first woman may have developed when she was young as she witness her father bring flowers home to her mother and noticing further how happy that made her mother. She then adopted that rule as her own.
The second woman may have witnessed her father bring home flowers to her mother after he did something not in her mother’s best interest and was his attempt to sooth ruffled feathers. The second woman’s rule might say to her, that getting flowers means that the giver was hiding something or did something she wouldn’t like.
Again simple examples, but you can see how they differ. Magnify that by all the possibilities, situations and people, you can begin to see that there are many different meanings around a given value. You can also begin to see, why people are so different. People also tend to find other people with similar or complimentary values and you can easily see how that would work as well.
Now for the interesting part. The flowers in the above example are events or reference that these two woman remember. We can say that these events the shaped the rules that further created and shaped the value(s). In this case the flower events were something they remembered but in many cases these events become something that is not actually remembered. It can often be a simple thing like a statement a child makes when angry about something. For instance a child may say I never going to talk to you again. This event begins shaping how that child turned adolescent turned adult deals with things. Repeated iterations of said pattern re-enforces it as a child and this child turned woman becomes someone who often doesn’t communicate when something doesn’t go her way. She has built a pattern into herself that at some points she doesn’t remember and has to go to counseling to ;learn how to communicate when things don’t go her way.
Again a simple example, but you begin to see how behaviors and more so forgotton behaviors shape the way we think as we get older. I will also clarify that some of those behaviors adopted as a child were necessary as a defense mechanism against something that might be more painful. The problem however shows up when we continue to use those long after that behavior pattern stopped working for us.
How do you go about identifying and changing these unwanted patterns that no longer serve you? …more (coming soon)
This article explains it best...may we all rid ourselves from the "hurt people HURT people" syndrome....
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
What are core values and belief systems and how are they created???
You might respond with something like my job, my husband/wife/mate, my car and so on. Let’s for a moment think of values as something that is not a material thing but more so an intrinsic thing. An intrinsic vale is something that has worth to us, but we can’t necessarily quantify that in terms of material items or even numbers.
Now when we talk about values, words might come to mind like freedom, trust, respect, love, compassion and so on. You can easily see the difference, but noting that these things do really mean something to us. As all things go, each person will not only have different values, they will have a different ordering or priority of what’s important. Taking one more step beyond that and probably the most important difference - is what that value actually means or translates to in real life.
For instance one woman’s version of love might include getting flowers on a regular basis, while another doesn’t like flowers receiving flowers and things it’s a bribe or sorts. For the first woman getting flowers from her husband shows to her, in her value system, that he loves her. If the second woman was to receive flowers, it could be suspect or even painful.
This is a simple example, but I think you get the picture. In any given value, for any given person there will be different reason on how that values translates to their real world situation. These reasons or guidelines for a given value are often referred to as “the rules” behind the value. The rules for the first woman may have developed when she was young as she witness her father bring flowers home to her mother and noticing further how happy that made her mother. She then adopted that rule as her own.
The second woman may have witnessed her father bring home flowers to her mother after he did something not in her mother’s best interest and was his attempt to sooth ruffled feathers. The second woman’s rule might say to her, that getting flowers means that the giver was hiding something or did something she wouldn’t like.
Again simple examples, but you can see how they differ. Magnify that by all the possibilities, situations and people, you can begin to see that there are many different meanings around a given value. You can also begin to see, why people are so different. People also tend to find other people with similar or complimentary values and you can easily see how that would work as well.
Now for the interesting part. The flowers in the above example are events or reference that these two woman remember. We can say that these events the shaped the rules that further created and shaped the value(s). In this case the flower events were something they remembered but in many cases these events become something that is not actually remembered. It can often be a simple thing like a statement a child makes when angry about something. For instance a child may say I never going to talk to you again. This event begins shaping how that child turned adolescent turned adult deals with things. Repeated iterations of said pattern re-enforces it as a child and this child turned woman becomes someone who often doesn’t communicate when something doesn’t go her way. She has built a pattern into herself that at some points she doesn’t remember and has to go to counseling to ;learn how to communicate when things don’t go her way.
Again a simple example, but you begin to see how behaviors and more so forgotton behaviors shape the way we think as we get older. I will also clarify that some of those behaviors adopted as a child were necessary as a defense mechanism against something that might be more painful. The problem however shows up when we continue to use those long after that behavior pattern stopped working for us.
How do you go about identifying and changing these unwanted patterns that no longer serve you? …more (coming soon)
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