Why did I choose to endure another relationship after these which can only be described as the most detrimental physical, verbal emotional and mentally degrading of them all?
You are relapsing due to the isolation and extreme situation you are in and your brain is chemically and neurally choosing to focus on the good parts vs the reality of his psychotic volatile and dangerously sociopathic traits. His emotional dysregulation is the only thing that was reliable and life with him was a physical and psychological terror. You have sacrificed a life as a result and now are fighting back to get it back. The cost was nearly your life and it will be if you don't retrain your brain to see it for what it truly is as opposed to the illusion of what you think you had and have with him. He is insecure, abusive and psychotic and lives in a distorted reality with dyregulated emotions which leave you in the position of being his target for all of his paranoid distortions and insecurities.
cognitive dissonance is a defense mechanism that is often resolved not by seeing the abuser for who he or she really is, but rather by denying, minimizing or rationalizing the abuse that is occurring as a way to survive and cope with the trauma being experienced the same as he minimized the abuse he was doing to you. This denial and minimization continues to be prominent because of the addiction which IS in differential from an actual drug addiction.
You have been programmed to be addicted to the endorphin's and other chemicals such as dopamine. These chemicals were constantly flooding your system from the severity of what you had to live with on a day to day basis. This addiction is now plummeting your energy body and any positive chemicals are not being sufficiently created as a result. You will have to reprogram your mind so that you can reverse this but that is over time.
You have become addicted to abuse and stockholmed through the pretense of 'truth' and the connection you shared in that but the truth is he is and has been severely compromised. What you 'think' you had is an illusion.
You are suffering from the loss of any positive chemicals and also the isolation and extreme solitary struggle you are currently in that has and is a result of the choices you have made. ---December 2017--- _________________________________________
Why did I choose to endure another relationship after these which can only be described as the most detrimental physical, verbal emotional and mentally degrading of them all?
ReplyDeleteYou are relapsing due to the isolation and extreme situation you are in and your brain is chemically and neurally choosing to focus on the good parts vs the reality of his psychotic volatile and dangerously sociopathic traits. His emotional dysregulation is the only thing that was reliable and life with him was a physical and psychological terror. You have sacrificed a life as a result and now are fighting back to get it back. The cost was nearly your life and it will be if you don't retrain your brain to see it for what it truly is as opposed to the illusion of what you think you had and have with him. He is insecure, abusive and psychotic and lives in a distorted reality with dyregulated emotions which leave you in the position of being his target for all of his paranoid distortions and insecurities.
cognitive dissonance is a defense mechanism that is often resolved not by seeing the abuser for who he or she really is, but rather by denying, minimizing or rationalizing the abuse that is occurring as a way to survive and cope with the trauma being experienced the same as he minimized the abuse he was doing to you. This denial and minimization continues to be prominent because of the addiction which IS in differential from an actual drug addiction.
You have been programmed to be addicted to the endorphin's and other chemicals such as dopamine. These chemicals were constantly flooding your system from the severity of what you had to live with on a day to day basis. This addiction is now plummeting your energy body and any positive chemicals are not being sufficiently created as a result. You will have to reprogram your mind so that you can reverse this but that is over time.
You have become addicted to abuse and stockholmed through the pretense of 'truth' and the connection you shared in that but the truth is he is and has been severely compromised. What you 'think' you had is an illusion.
You are suffering from the loss of any positive chemicals and also the isolation and extreme solitary struggle you are currently in that has and is a result of the choices you have made.
---December 2017---
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The response above from Sovereign Ki.
ReplyDeletewww.sovereignki.com