MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES
I Wanted to share some very suttle tactics that eventually lead to more evident and frequent behaviors that occurs on a daily basis.
- Controlling sleep habits (ie, deliberately interrupting sleep with loud noises, shaking one awake). wanting to have conversations at odd hours of the night
- Controlling email, social media, texts, etc. or making references or comments about or to partner/spouse using these vehicles
These controlling behaviors, without laying a violent hand on someone, are not about "courtesy, decency, kindness or civility." They are learned behaviors by disturbed people designed to control the people in their lives. In my personal experience, these activities were far more abusive than the physical violence in either home. Watching one parent stand over the other while they cooked, ate, spoke on the phone, slept - the emotional impact is traumatic and abusive. On everyone in the home.
THE WORST KIND...
Structural, crippling emotional abuse should be a criminal offense
and thus should be punished as such. If you strip a person of their sense of worth and degrade them to the point that they unrealistically feel that they can't stand on their own, how can that NOT be abuse? It takes a toll, over years of repeating to mentally break down a person to the point of feeling nothing at all.
These are unpleasant memories I've allowed myself to remember and be experienced again as if they just happened today. Releasing them and letting go of them for good is so important in the healing process...
Emotional abuse is a difficult experience to go through, yet rarely women stand up to defend themselves against or go forth to pursue in court. Proving it is as hard as the attacks themselves.
A black eye is difficult to look past and a shattered sense of self by the words and acts of another...
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