TRUST - A new way to see it

If we are wanting to change the world, we must UNLEARN what we have been taught, told and believe to be truth.

Trust is one thing that has been misconstrued in definition for so many reasons. It is a demand upon another to meet an expectation. In setting expectations from a person up front, you are in turn placing a need for yourself upon another.

Consider a new way to remove judgment, expectation and personal needs from relationships - whether it be friends, family, significant others or spouses with this quote from Neal Donald Walsch:

...that trust is not necessary when you don't want or
need anything.

If you are wondering whether you can "trust" someone,
look closely at what it is you think you need or want
from them. When you need or want nothing, trust is
not an issue.

And, of course, there is nothing that you do need,
from anybody, given Who and What You Are. You
are an expression of Divinity Itself, and Divinity is
your Source.

Thinking that you "need" anything, given that this is so,
would be nothing more than a misunderstanding.

There is too much "poor me" "what about me" "what can you do for me" expectations from others close to you, that are constantly on demand to be fulfilled. And because it becomes a defined NEED and expectation from someone else, when another person "fails" to meet this obligation requirement, it can cause negative emotions as a projection onto the other person, even end a relationship, due to a need not met. Seems very limited and restricting, right?

Trust that failed when defined can consist of many scenarios. Then we begin to judge by comparing it to other things that cause mistrust and how BADLY it rates as a projection of wrongdoing based on our societal perceptions. The thing that caused the perceived lack of trust then becomes judged. This is how we determine how we will treat the other person;  based on the severity of this perception.

Failed trust is also handled differently for every person in their life as well. Trust defined as one thing for a spouse can mean another version and expectation they need from their child.

If their child continually lies when confronted, and repeats the pattern over and over, with consequences, but the child continues to lie about stealing, things they did or did not do, etc...does the parent to end the relationship with the child?

They are a child, they say. They are learning. Are we still not learning even as adults? Everyday? We are still growing and becoming as individuals SEPARATE from our relationships.

YES WE ARE.

To end a relationship solely based on a lack of trust from another is giving up because  someone "failed" to meet your expectations. This in turn limits you to TRUST again. Limits you to receiving the compassion and gifts from the whole person you let go who did not meet this one expectation. How limiting is this reasoning? Remember, YOU (or societies perception) of the mis-trust has now defined and ruled the outcome.

The illusions we create only in our mind can leave us in the illusion, or allow us the freedom of compassion and love again. It is a choice. But only for those willing to give up their old beliefs and standards, which no longer serve if we are to evolve to a higher place of self.

I AM Peace. I AM Joy. I AM LOVE. I AM NOW THE LIGHT.

February 26 2015

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY. OF A NEW BEGINNING. TO TRANSFORM THE EGO AS I'VE FOUND MY TRUE SELF. MY EXPERIENCE HERE HAS BEEN MISLED BY MY FALSE SELF - THE EGO, AND THE PERCEPTION IT HAD OF WHAT LOVE IS.

WHAT I FELT AND EXPRESSED AS LOVE TOWARDS OTHERS WAS DEEP, MEANINGFUL, AND FULLY PRESENT. WHAT I FELT AS LOVE DISPLAYED BY SOULS DISGUISED BY THEIR NARCISSISTIC EGO FALSE SELF WAS NOTHING CLOSE TO THAT. BUT IT WAS ALL I KNEW, SO I ACCEPTED IT. ALL THIS TIME, I WAS HURT BY THE HARDSHIP THAT I WAS TRICKED BY THEIR FALSE EGO, AND NEVER GOT REALLY FEEL NOR TO SEE WHO THE TRUE SELF THAT WAS LOST INSIDE.

I BELIEVED THEIR BEHAVIOR TOWARDS ME, ALTHOUGH PAINFUL, TO BE LOVE. IN SEEKING IT SO DESPERATELY  - I BELIEVED THAT IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE LOVE, AND NOT THE LOSS OF BEING LOVED, THAT HOW I ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE TREATED MUST BE NOT SO BAD, I MUST CONTINUE TO ALLOW IN ORDER TO NOT FEEL LOSS OF THE ONLY TYPE OF LOVE I KNEW HOW TO HOLD ONTO. 

THERE CAME A DEFINITE TIME IN EACH EXPERIENCE WHERE I KNEW IN MY HEART INTUITIVELY THAT THIS WAS WRONG IN SOME WAY, BUT HAD LONG FORGOTTEN HOW TO SEEK  THIS LOVE, ALONG WITH JOY AND PEACE WITHIN MYSELF,  FOR I ALWAYS BELIEVED IT HAD TO COME FROM THE OUTSIDE AND BE GIVEN TO ME. AS IF TO BE EARNED.

THIS IS HOW I EXPERIENCED LOVE IN AN EGO STATE. LETTING GO OF THE FEAR OF LOSING THIS LOVE WAS HARD. TO REMOVE THAT THOUGHT MEANT TO REMOVE THE EGO FULL OF FEAR, RESENTMENTS AND PAIN. IT ALSO LEAD ME TO THE HARSH REALITY THAT MY EGO'S THINKING IN THIS MANNER **ALLOWED THESE EXPERIENCES TO CONTINUE***. FROM VICTIM OF PAIN BROUGHT UPON ME, TO THE REALIZATION THAT I ALLOWED IT, BECAME THE TURNING POINT IN SEARCH OF MY TRUE SELF.

I REALIZED THAT LOVE CANNOT BE WITHHELD, IT CANNOT BE TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU, LOVE CANNOT BE MANIPULATED, IT KNOWING ONLY A STATE OF INFINITE BLISS.  I HAD NOW ADDED GUILT UPON MYSELF, GUILT FOR NOT KNOWING LOVE'S TRUE MEANING, AND BELIEVING IT WAS NOT THOSE THINGS AT ALL. BETRAYAL TO MYSELF. AT THAT POINT, I HAD NO IDEA WHO I WAS. SO HOW WAS I TO PULL MYSELF AWAY FROM THE FALSE SELF BACK ON MY JOURNEY?

THE WHAT YOU KNOW JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW WAS DORMANT. TAKING ACTION WAS LIKE SWITCHING ON A LIGHT. MOVED ME TO A STATE OF AWARENESS TO INTUITIVELY KNOW THE NEXT STEP. AFTER SO LONG BEING STUCK IN A LOST PLACE ON MY PATH.

ONCE I RECEIVED THE VALIDATION OF AND UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT I WENT THROUGH, I REALIZED HOW IMOERTANT IT ALL WAS IN ORDER TO BRING ME BACK TO THE SOURCE. SIMPLY LETTING GO OF ANY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS - BITTERNESS, HATRED, RESENTMENTS YOU HAVE FOR THOSE INDIVIDUALS IN THOSE EXPERIENCES THAT  YOU BELIEVED CAUSED YOU HARM, AND LETTING GO OF THE GUILT AND PAIN YOU CARRY IN CONDEMNING YOURSELF FOR SIMPLY WAKING UP!! THE TRUE SELF AWAKENED WITHIN TO LET ME SEE THAT IT HAD THE FALSE EGO SELF WORK AND TRICK YOU INTO ALLOWING YOU TO HAVE THOSE UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCES. BUT DID IT?


AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED HOW SIMPLE IT WAS TO GET UNSTUCK AND BACK ON MY PATH...REALIZE THAT EVERYTHING UP UNTIL THIS POINT IS WHERE IT IS TO BE. ACCEPT THIS, AND....


1. ACCEPT THE LESSONS THAT THE FALSE EGO PUT IN MY PATH TO EXPERIENCE!!!

 2.HAVE GRATITUDE FOR THOSE EXPERIENCES!

 3. OFFER FORGIVENESS TO MYSELF AND THOSE WHO I HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR TAKING PART IN THOSE EXPERIENCES!!!


                      FEELING OF PURE PEACE IN MY HEART.OMMMMMM....

I PUT TRUST IN KNOWING IF I LET GO -  TODAY - I ALLOW MYSELF TO OPEN UP TO EXPERIENCING ANYTHING I DESIRE. IT GUIDED ME BACK TO THE PATH OF BECOMING TO WHO I REALLY AM. THE BEST GIFT OF ALL.

I HAVE GREAT THINGS TO ACHIEVE AND IT IS TIME TO GET TO WORK. I KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT ARE WAITING FOR MY GUIDANCE AND COUNSEL. HELPING OTHERS. IT IS TIME.

I KNOW THAT LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES AND IS UNCONDITIONAL AND HERE WITHIN ME, ALWAYS.  I SEE ALL OTHERS AND RESPECT THEIR JOURNEYS, FOR WE ARE ALL ON OUR OWN PATHS THAT WILL  LEAD US ALL BACK FROM INDIVIDUALS TO ONENESS AS EACH SOUL MOVES THROUGH THEIR EXPERIENCES AND BACK TO THEIR TRUE SELF.

 I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE AWAKENING TO MY PURPOSE HERE. IT IS CLEAR THAT I AM NOW GUIDED TO BECOME THE  HUMANITARIAN I WAS MEANT TO BE ALL ALONG. I HAVE BEEN GUIDED TO THE TASK AT HAND.

AS I MOVE FORWARD TODAY,  I FREE MYSELF FROM THE EGO THAT CARRIED HEAVY GUILT AND PAIN FOR ENABLING AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO EXPERIENCE THESE THINGS, FOR THEY WERE MEANT FOR ME AND MY JOURNEY ALL ALONG. 

               I SAY WITH GRATITIUDE TODAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2015, THIS AFFIRMATION:

I ASK THE SOURCE TODAY TO GUIDE MY WORDS ALL TO THOSE WHO WERE PUT ALONG MY PATH TO EDUCATE ME. TODAY I GIVE THEM THANKS.  PROVIDE GRATITUDE FOR THEIR PRESENCE ALONG MY PATH FOR WHAT I HAVE LEARNED.  I ASK THAT THE SOURCE ENERGY FIND THESE SOULS TODAY. OPEN THEIR CROWN CHAKRAS AND DIRECT THE WHITE LIGHT AND LOVE INTO THEIR SOULS. AT THIS TIME  MAY THEY FEEL MY WORDS OF FORGIVENESS AND GRATITUDE. PLEASE GUIDE THEIR THOUGHTS TO RESONATE IN THE STATE OF NOW. SHOW THEM THEIR GIFT OF LIVING IN THE MOMENT. TO JUST BE. LET THEM FEEL THE  BEAUTY AND JOY, PEACE AND LOVE THEY HAVE HAD WITHIN THEM ALL ALONG.  LET THEM SEE LOVE PEACE AND JOY AROUND THEM AS THEY'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED IT BEFORE.  MAY THEY NOW SEE THIS IN ALL THOSE THEY ARE IN CONTACT WITH AS WELL.

THIS STATE OF BEING IS AT IS ALL THERE IS. WITH THIS AFFIRMATION I PUT IT OUT INTO TO THE UNIVERSE TO MANIFEST WITH LOVE.

                                                     SO IT SHALL BE.

 

EGO and it's Traps!

This is what we call the traps of the Ego

It will lie, push, demand, defend, attack, compete, protect, constrain, yell, and dramatize, as far as it can go, so as to keep up this ongoing game of sustaining the main illusion of control.

The greatest joke of all is that the Ego makes a fool of itself!  As it is oriented towards the outside world, the Ego won´t take responsibility for itself, tending to judge and blame the outside world for its results.  It is very worthwhile to take not that we don´t see things as they are, we see them as WE are. The great illusion being that happiness, or connecting to God, is something you search for on the outside, is merely a notion that comes from the Ego.

On a collective level, the sum of Egos builds up a conditioned and rigid society whose individuals are confined to determined ways of behaving, resulting in a world of black and white, good and bad, a consensus of “normality” and what is expected of each one. There is no room for spontaneity, authenticity and creativity, because this defies the old rigid ways of the Ego,  and so we learn to compromise our inner truth from the very beginning. And every time the illusion is cracked open, it is hurtful for the Ego – but the Ego is NOT the true self!

The process by which the Ego arrives at a False Self instead of a Real Self is a matter of a whole new article; however, it is central to understand how this vehicle can be oriented to fulfill one way or another. The Ego, which is an essential quality of the human being, is prone to support either the negative sides of yourself or the positive ones.

Opportunities to Heal and Work with The Ego

Get to know your Shadow and work with it.

Unidentify from your regular beliefs. Remember beliefs are temporary and they will change just as your circumstances do.

Get to know your Inner Self through the realm of the body; ask yourself frequently “What am I feeling right now?” and let the answer unfold itself by sensations instead of words at first. Take your time! This is not a fast exercise.

Gain consciousness of your ‘roles’ and ‘characters’ – which are the most common ones you fall into and when do they ‘come out to play’?

Practice consciousness: be a witness to yourself, use slow and deep breathing, and gain mindfulness about everything you do.

Get to know yourself in these four dimensions, differentiating between them: thoughts, feelings, sensations, intuitions.

Practice interesting games such as suspending of judgments for a whole hour, or expressing yourself without swearing to see what other language and form of expression comes out of you.

Adopt an innocent attitude as if you were a child, and play the learning game for a whole day: Rediscover everything, give yourself the chance of not knowing (and be ok with it), give yourself the chance of not having the last word nor trying to prove someone wrong. At the end of the day ask yourself gently: What did I learn from myself today?

If you made a mistake, laugh at yourself, laugh with yourself, then forgive yourself, just as an act of love.

Explore what happens to you internally if something doesn´t go your way. Explore your reactions. Write them down. Then read them out loud pretending you are a character from a movie. What do you feel?

At the end of the day, be thankful for all the ‘bad things’ that happened. Explore what feelings and fears come to you. Let them exist. Allow yourself to truly thank bad things that happened. Practice this for a week and register what changes in you after this.

Numerology...Personality Number 9

Your Personality number is 9

...also am a Lifepath 9....

 

You have an impressive and aristocratic bearing. No matter how tall you are, you appear noble and upright. You are very much in control of the image you send out to others.

Many actors, dancers, and other performers have a 9 Personality Number.

 

You are elegant, graceful, and charismatic. Many admire you. You have the kind of stature that pulls people to you or repels them intensely. Some are jealous of you and may seek to belittle you.

You may encourage this to some extent by the amount of arrogance you radiate.

 

This is a caution for all 9 Personalities - they are sometimes aloof and hold themselves above the world. Your challenge is to come down to earth with your fellow man.

Conversely, you have a great compassion for humanity and want to dedicate yourself to improving the lot of others.

You are better when dealing with the trials of the many than the trouble of a single person. You are more capable of working on the grand scale, addressing the needs of society, than on a one-to-one basis.

You are kind and sympathetic, helpful and compassionate.

Behind the controlled and calm facade, you are sensitive, vulnerable and emotional.

You have excellent taste. There is a good deal of artistic talent in you that shows in your home environment and your clothing. You tend to see yourself as a guardian of society, a benevolent leader, guiding and directing your community toward a better world.

Moving From EGO to LOVE in Relationships That End

Breaking the Cycle of Bad Relationships

By Marcia Sirota MD

A good relationship has three functions: it should make both partners happy; it should make them feel good about themselves and it should bring out the best in both.If one or more of these functions aren’t being fulfilled, the relationship by definition is problematic.

I like this article, merely because it defines where it has taken me today in relationships, and how I have allowed myself to be affected by those experiences.

So. I would like to add a fourth function that is CRITICAL in success in any relationship. A secure attachment. 

Marcia explains below what causes us to react in certain ways in our relationships that are unhealthy...which has everything to do with our lack of secure attachments in early childhood. A good relationship will also provide a secure attachment to each other...but as described below, childhood has much to do with gaining a secure attachment in order to be successful in giving one in our future relationships.

Many people grow up in happy, loving families where they see their parents treating each-other with care and respect. As children, they are given all the love and affirmation they need in order to grow up confident and secure. These people have little trouble forming healthy, happy romantic relationships.

Those individuals whose parents were in conflict, or were neglectful or even abusive to the children are lacking in the good foundation that the former group was able to establish. Some of these people fear closeness because being open and vulnerable could mean being hurt or rejected. Their ambivalence around intimacy leads them to choose partners who are unavailable or unable to commit.

Some people expect their romantic partner to treat them the way their parents did, and enter into their relationships defensive or even somewhat hostile toward their innocent and unknowing partner. On the other hand, many people from bad childhoods will choose a partner who is as cruel or rejecting as their parents were.

They do this for a few reasons: people go for what is familiar even if it’s hurtful, because it’s less anxiety-provoking than something new and unknown. They will also stay with a hurtful partner out of insecurity and the fear of being alone.

Another reason why people choose partners who resemble their parents is out of what Freud calls the “repetition compulsion.” This is an unconscious attempt to vicariously heal their parent-child relationship through their current one. The inner wish is that by transforming a rejecting or abusive partner into a loving, accepting one they’ll also somehow heal the emotional wounds of their childhood.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t work because for one, the chances of making someone change are slim to none. Secondly, even if this person were to change, the truth is that no relationship in the present can heal the emotional wounds created in the past. The person engaging in the repetition compulsion will remain in a bad relationship, hoping unsuccessfully that things will get better and suffering enormously in the process.

If you find yourself going in and out of frustrating, dissatisfying relationships, the solution is to see that either you’ve been continually choosing the wrong partner or that you’ve been projecting the qualities of your parents onto someone who in reality, is nothing like these people. You also need to recognize that your fear of being alone is based on a lack of self-confidence and self-love. But also perhaps the lack of what it feels like to have a secure attachment.

In order to be in a satisfying, non-conflictual relationship it’s essential to heal the emotional wounds you’ve been carrying. You’ll need to face the losses you experienced during childhood and past relationships that you experienced the same trauma from, and actively grieve them until you can let go of whatever pain or anger you’ve been carrying. This will enable you to approach a partner without the unconscious expectation that they’ll hurt or reject you.

Another reason why people choose partners who resemble their parents is out of what Freud calls the “repetition compulsion.” This is an unconscious attempt to vicariously heal their parent-child relationship through their current one. The inner wish is that by transforming a rejecting or abusive partner into a loving, accepting one they’ll also somehow heal the emotional wounds of their childhood.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t work because for one, the chances of making someone change are slim to none. Secondly, even if this person were to change, the truth is that no relationship in the present can heal the emotional wounds created in the past. The person engaging in the repetition compulsion will remain in a bad relationship, hoping unsuccessfully that things will get better and suffering enormously in the process.

You’ll need to learn how to give yourself the love, affirmation and protection that was lacking in the past, and this will enable you to feel less afraid of rejection, and to trust that you can be comfortable on your own. Grieving your losses and developing self-love will result in your letting go of the need to choose unavailable partners or to engage in the repetition-compulsion.

By taking responsibility for dealing with your emotional issues, you’ll make it possible to enter into relationships unburdened by the fears, beliefs or expectations created by the wounds of the past. Healing yourself will free you to choose loving, caring partners who, like you, are looking for meaningful companionship and intimacy.

Taking charge. Moving to peace with my past so it does not affect all the joy, happiness and love in the PRESENT MOMENT.

Higher Vibrations - In Relationships

 

 

Your limits to truly loving another is your own Self Love. 

 This is what matters.  The ability to ACCEPT  and RECOGNIZE yourself and the situations that limit you, and others from experiencing your true core essence of Self outside of ego construct in this false reality.

The I Am will never have the beauty of returning to full consciousness. This is the loss we mourn to return to. 

It places us back in alignment with the universe in harmony and with others that have awakened to their full resonance being. 

In denial of inner self work of Trauma? In this life or past?

There will be a loss of any relationship, a moral and ethical division when vibrations do not match between them will occur. 

One who has gone through the most suffering within and has come out on the other side a fully authentic expression of Self and vibration, will not fall back into any form other than what it has returned to. Higher vibration "stasis" outside of the false construct illusion by  re-membering I AM.

The denial of a need to change is a grandioso false self fixated on changing all others and the world around them. If the heart cannot heal, how can you love another if you truly deny this love for yourself to be present within yourself first???

When you know you are not living your life's path, and becomes very uncomfortable... to me it felt like someone else's life. A certain awareness provides you with the message that change needs to occur, or you will become so lost that it may take a long time to get back to your True Self. There are many obstacles in the way, breaking through them is key.  Only YOU. ALONE will know what needs healed and YOU ALONE must do the work.

It has taken 9 years for me this time around. I plan to stay and hold steadfast in boundaries and affirmation to any benevolent energies attempting to hijack mine.

I've made very large strides to get where I need to "begin again". Determination and perseverance allowed me to break down the obstacles. I have achieved the sought after this place in which I must be for myself at this time, so the flow of all positive manifested desires for my True Self.