Kids Are Unconditionally Loving

When I got this email day after the chaos it was uplifting but just knowing how they are being used and manipulated to think of me any other way.

I had moved out, and been homeless until i was helped into getting an apartment end of Sept.

Trauma - Dissociation - Sabotage

Things Verbal Abusers Do:

What does verbal abuse sound like? The tone and content varies from abuser to abuser, but the words effect the victim in similar ways. Victims hear horrible things from their abuser and they feel small, withdrawn, angry, helpless, sad, shame, and a hundred other horrible emotions – sometimes all at once.

Defend what they’ve said.

Analyze what they’ve said out loud, explaining that the words they used do not have the definitions you seem to think they do.

Block you in a room so you can’t leave and thereby avoid what they’re saying.

Talk horribly to the television but are really speaking to you.

Flip open their knife to open a piece of gum while looking at you under knitted brows.

Leave to do something else at the last minute when you had plans together, or better yet, had plans with friends and he never comes home to watch the kids.

Take you out for your best birthday ever and then wind up berating you on the way home for not appreciating their efforts enough.

Tell your children you need more happy pills to be a good mom.

Change the topic of the conversation so you bounce from one place to another, never getting to the core of the issue.

Accuse you of being a whore or a dummy or a _B*/C* so often that they no longer need to say the words but can offer up a “look” and you know what they’re saying (then they may deny it).

Okay. I have to stop. My stomach is literally upset right now after digesting the utter contempt and hatred some people spew on a daily basis.

The derailing - Parental Alienation

One part of the whole over 9 years. Most of this occured over time to net result of great loss in a Mother's heart. This was covert narcissism and control/manipulation. Yes, his "mind" has never seen me the same again. Diversion tactics below.

“confused child” Choice to Choose

 Twist and confusion between my words of “I won’t be there on these weekends” and their Dads act of still driving them there in order to wait on me, knowing full well that I won’t be there.This is another sad example of parental soul-destruction leveled onto children. 

Lies to make himself look good by using legitimate reasons for no show as a tool to convelute truth

To take pleasure in watching your children absorb with heartache the lie that the other parent doesn’t care enough to show is very sick.

Here are some examples of how these mentally abusive parents operate:

SITUATION #1 You are 5 minutes late.MEANING GIVEN BY YOUR EX TO YOUR KIDS: You don’t really care that much about seeing them. If you did, you would never show up late

.SITUATION #2 You need to move the time back 30 minutes due to traffic, work, etc.MEANING GIVEN BY YOUR EXEx shows up at original time and explains how inconsiderate you are to be 30 minutes late.

SITUATION #3 - You let ex know you’ll be out of town for a weekend or month.MEANING GIVE BY YOUR EXEx shows up at your weekends’ normal time and place with your children, and informs your children that their Mommy or Daddy must not love them very much and doesn’t want to see them.

Parents willing to do this are completely OK with seeing their kids suffer. Instead of building the little tikes up with excitement, which is what nurturing parents do, these bad exes would rather plant a mean lie into their kids’ heads in order to poison the relationship to their very core.

There are degradations of parental alienation. The most severe type is perpetrated by 
These parents are ruthless in their efforts to eliminate their ex from the child’s life.

High Level Brainwashers Use Excuses With No Proof

"Sick of lies" is what he states as reasoning why he won't speak to me or hasn't in 8 years. Very twisted excuse yet this is what kids have adopted as real. Yet cannot give examples of what lies he fabricates to exist that keeps him in the excuses for not communicating with me for 8 years.

They spend decades spinning tales of woe of what the ex did, labeling the ex every derogatory name imaginable, and doing everything possible to deny an ex physical access to “their” child.


They dwell on the sins of the past. They simply cannot forgive any past grievances and ‘move on.’ They are permanently stuck in the past. Who you are now to them is no different than before although many years have passed.

They are revenge-minded. vengeful stop at nothing to gaslight you and create a hate campaign against you. For long term satisfaction .

They have anger and aggression issues to get point across and leave no room for discussion.

They are deeply unhappy people. Negative about just everything in any given day, chronic complainer, never know when they are in good mood and will walk on egggshells to not set them off or put in bad mood=consequences resulted.

Happy people don’t dwell on negatives, and allow past wrongs to weigh them down.

They have one or more psychological disorders or (PTSD) from war.

They were abused or neglected as as children. Were told they were an asshole, never mount to nothing had responsibilities like an adult forced into supporting family by working to help pay bills watching other siblings most of time vs. having a teenage fun life.

The roots of their bulldozing ways goes back to a dysfunctional childhood they had themselves and jeaousy they had for you because of your strong relationship with your parents...

They are extremely selfish people. 
They make statements like "this is my house my things - as if the home wasnt also theirs. Devalues them as a person.

They are bad listeners, first and foremost. Rather threatened, yelled called names or became physical to prove whos boss

They are capable of completely disregarding the welfare of the child if it suits their own needs and is justified with selfish motives

They view child as a possession. 

Ownership of and control of the child.

They will micromanage the child’s life in the extreme

They abuse the child on other levels that are unethical and very emotionally abusive threats or demands

They fequently physically abuse children as well. In short, they have no boundaries. Pull hair, slap and leave marks, hit their head, pull by arms...here is one final trait of the truly worst HLBs, and that’s the narcissistic behaviors of parent.
Who has the custody. Who are the real danger.

And you've tried to save yourself and recover from damage and are gone but covertly your kids were taken and you are the problem. Attemping any refute is a resurfacing of emotions you dont wanna deal with.

And these parents are the absolute worst abusers, and are true evil-doers at their core. They all lack a

They are masters at turning their perceived victimhood into manipulative lies intent on destroying their own child’s love for the other parent. 

This mental child abuse that causes lasting scars, even when the child does one day realize the fraud and lies perpetrated onto them. 

Top actions of an alienating parent

Doesn’t inform you of upcoming school activities (especially unexpected ones) Had to do all on my own to get in front of teachers etc so they knew i was a parent.

Expresses no enthusiasm for fun events you’re doing with the child (vacations, amusement parks, etc)
Becomes jealous

Constantly tells the kids i never paid out anything to help him financially.
He took all got tax refund claiming 2, had all

Limits child’s cellphone and computer usage, so you’ll rarely get a call, text, or email 2009-2011

Accomplishes a post-visitation shakedown, extracting as much info as possible to find negatives every time.

Hands the phone directly to the child when you call, avoiding ALL civil conversations with you.

Holds conversations with strangers family friends around kids constantly speaking bad things about you in earshot.

Able to hold resentment towards you for SEVERAL YEARS.

Never calls you when the child is sick or taken out of school. Never suggests you as a backup person to take or pick them up if ill.


Teaches the child adult things to tell you, such as “I don’t want to see you just want you to call me once a month and talk to me. 8/17/17

Teaches the child how to despise or hate another human being
Labels themselves the “good” parent; labels you the “bad” parent

Tells the child false stories about their childhood - how I left, has no responsibility for their hainus actions of verbal and emotional abuse and manipulative control.

Tells the child in vivid detail how he or she was victimized by you (while taking no blame at all for the divorce)

Teaches the child how to lie to you (coating their little hearts with false malice and scorn)

Keeping you off any school record that acknowledges that you are a parent : emergency lists have his friends relatives as contacts. Left out of important reminders conferences. Pretends as if you dont exist.

Refuses to help the child reach and call/email/mail cards on relatives’ birthdays on your side of the family tree

Uses child’s cellphone as a leash

Never gets the child excited about seeing you

*Reminds the child of all that he or she will be missing while with you and away from them*

Inflicts his or her unhappiness onto the child (as alienators are deeply unhappy people)

Control via a lawyer to reduce visitation to that even below family court minimum standards

Takes the child out of state without a peep, while demands precise details whenever you travel with them

Monopolizes the child’s time for hours on the phone or time with you. Take them somewhere before you pick up or promise of something better in lieu of going with other parent

Views any event in the child’s life– a distant Aunt’s birthday, a friend’s birthday, their friends wedding etc– as more important than their time with you

Informs children of alienator’s plans for them past 18 (you’ll go to college at X, and will stay here with me)

Is jealous of anything fun and memorable you do with the child (as they view the good times as a threat)

Gripes about things you’re doing as a parent to the child, but says nothing to you about it

Has outbursts around the child (extremely dramatic ones) when other parent comes to home or ķnows they are coming. Throws a fit to a point they dont even want to come because of the ramifications of leaving they dont hear about until they go back home.

Lacks a filter, spilling any adult topic into the child’s head

The de-identification of parent as childs parent.

Two extremely unfortunate but common tactics an alienating parent will use to further damage the child’s connection to the targeted parent is to:

The aggrieved, victimized (in his or her eyes), brainwashing parent can’t stand the thought of the targeted parent being in the child’s life.

So since labels and words matter so much in a child’s world, a quick way to devalue that parent is to label them with "your Mother". So they begin to relate to you as such- and with the same tone their Father would when referring to you. This is destructive behavior. Since what kids label becomes their reality, over time this causes their feelings to become at minimum muted.

All this over 9 years has my childrem question my sanity. One refuses to speak to me.  Holding on by thread for the  other who hasn't been totally brainwashed. 

Imagine this Spell...

Walk As You Say

James 3:14-15

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.

Psalm 55:21

His words are as smooth as butter, but in his heart is at war.

Proverbs 26:23-25

Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as a pretty glaze covers a clay pot.

1 John 2:11

But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

Deuteronomy 28:28-29

"The LORD will smite you with madness and with blindness and with bewilderment of heart; and you will grope at noon, as the blind man gropes in darkness, and you will not prosper in your ways; but you shall only be oppressed and robbed continually, with none to save you."

Evil hearts are experts at fooling others with their smooth speech and flattering words...

But if you look at the fruit of their lives or the follow through of their words, you will find no real evidence of godly growth or change. It’s all smoke and mirrors. (Psalms 50:19; 52:2,3; 57:4; 59:7; 101:7; Proverbs 12:5; 26:23–26; 26:28; Job 20:12; Jeremiah 12:6; Matthew 26:59; Acts 6:11–13; Romans 16:17,18; 2 Corinthians 11:13,14; 2 Timothy 3:2–5; 3:13; Titus 1:10,16).

=============================
The Bible has some strong words for those whose actions do not match their talk (1 John 3:17,18; Jeremiah 7:8,10; James 1:22, 26)

◄ Jeremiah 7:24 ►

"Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked in their own counsels and in the stubbornness of their evil heart, and went backward and not forward

Jeremiah 9:3 ►

"They bend their tongue like their bow; Lies and not truth prevail in the land; For they proceed from evil to evil, And they do not know Me," declares the LORD

And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or property, for my sake, will receive a hundred times as much in return and will inherit eternal life.

Three Fingers Pointing Back to You 👈👈👈

Why we see the bad in others rather than ourself??

Where there is a mirror, we must look at it with new eyes....

Maybe you know the saying, "When you point one finger, there are three fingers pointing back to you."  Jesus had a version of this wisdom when he said, "Don't focus on the speck in your brother's eye while ignoring the log in your own eye."  When cruel accusations fly, we all need to hear the voice of reason that says, "Look in the mirror, mister.  You might just be talking about yourself."

Do not judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves. For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you [use to] deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you.

— Matthew 7:1-2

I believe that pointing a finger at someone in judgment is often the way some people cover up their own weaknesses. Their theory seems to be, “Judge others before they have a chance to judge you.”

We all know what it's like to get caught up in the heat of the moment.  When we cannot bear to see something painful in ourselves, we want to get rid of it.  We want to relocate the ugliness we feel about ourselves and put it into someone else.   We say those bad feelings do not apply to us; they apply to someone else.

The fancy psychoanalytic term for this unconscious process is PROJECTIVE IDENTIFICATION.  We get rid of the unwanted feelings (projection) and identify them as belonging to someone else (identification).  I call it the "shame relocation plan."

Then let us no more criticize and blame and pass judgment on one another, but rather decide and endeavor never to put a stumbling block or an obstacle or a hindrance in the way of a brother.

-Romans 14:10, 12–13

Who are we? We’re God’s people. As Christians, we’re part of one family—God’s family. And He wants us to love and protect our family members, friends, etc. Instead of judging them.

Here is a prayer you can use to overcome judjment.

God, so often I’ve compared myself to others and judged them. I know that’s wrong. In the powerful name of Jesus Christ, I ask You to help me defeat every evil, judgmental thought that Satan throws at me.

AMEN!!!

Old Souls - Count Me In

An old soul is a special person – one who lives life a little bit differently. To put it simply, an old soul is one that has reincarnated many times, as opposed to a younger, fresher soul that may be walking this Earth for the first time ever.

Old souls tend to have different attitudes, habits, temperaments and frankly, they’re just old at heart. Because of this, old souls tend to have pretty universal problems in life.

Old souls love spending time alone.

Old souls tend to be more introverted than their younger counterparts. They find strength in solitude and are often very comfortable with themselves.

As a result, they may not enjoy doing things like hitting the bars or going clubbing. This is one area where old souls seem “boring” to younger ones, but they don’t feel boring.

Old souls attract people.

Old souls often attract people to them for their wisdom and good humor, but often times, the consequence of that is that their energies are drained. Old souls tend to be extremely empathic people, meaning lots of attention and interaction tends to drain them.

Old souls tend to be loners.

Old souls like developing meaningful relationships with people.

As a result, you won’t likely see them going to a rager of a party.

Instead, they prefer one on one interactions or small groups of friends together.

They prefer to spend their energy building a tight knit circle.

Old souls are forgiving.

Old souls don’t hold grudges. They realize that staying mad and holding grudges is like drinking a poison and expecting the other person to get a tummy ache. They realize that we’re all connected, we’re all one, and that by being forgiving, they raise the vibration of the world.

Old souls are easy going people.

Sadly, this is one feature of old souls that lets them get taken advantage of the most.

Old souls aren’t usually controlling and mostly they just want to see folks having a good time.

This makes them easy targets of energy vampires and narcissists.

Their decisions aren’t often taken seriously.

Old souls have a powerful intuition, built up over tens or hundreds, maybe even thousands of lives lived since the beginning of mankind.

Their intuition is sharp and they make informed decisions based on it. Some of those decisions may seem to make absolutely no sense, but old souls rely on something beyond simple logic.

There are a lot of differences between young souls and old souls, but always remember that everyone has value, no matter the age of their soul.

❤❤❤❤Treat everyone with respect and we can shift the vibration of the world.❤❤❤❤❤