Because Words Carry A Vibration...VERBAL AND WRITTEN - DRAFT

Those who are verbal abusers chronically see themselves as victims. 

 

****Their sense of themselves as victims is deeply entrenched and feel that their time invested in this relationship needs self radification****

 

They may feel “the victim” of many many things, including being inconvenienced, or their needs not met.  It is from their self-engendered victim-status that blame flows so naturally; from blame, the anger/rage; from the anger/rage, the rationalization of aggressive/abusive responses. They put it all back on you.

 

 

It’s also the case that once abusive individuals have established a pattern of their self-perceived victimization, their threshold for feeling subsequently victimized decreases; now, it takes less and less for them to feel victimized, perhaps only a minor disappointment or frustration. As time goes on, it becomes VERY EVIDENT AND DEFINED.

 

This is why many abusive individuals can find almost any basis to complain, to feel slighted, thereby tripping (and licensing) their abusiveness. 

 

Abusive individuals, at bottom, feel entitled not to be burdened by whatever feels burdensome to them. It is your job, your responsibility, to alleviate their burden.

 

• Respond to texts on demand (not responding or not responding fast enough to their satisfaction)

> attempt to demand contact from you, typically using a manipulative way to do this so you will respond, usually with sympathy or urgency.

 

And when you don't respond...WITHHOLDING, THREATS AND PERCEIVED ASSUMPTIONS AND DEMEANING HURTFUL, SARCASTIC WORDS WILL COME AS THE RESPONSE.


 

 

Your failure to do so, from their self-centered perspective, is an abdication of your duty, a form of betrayal. There are also threats to non-response, or ways in which they demean you verbally, in a text or on social media.

 

 

 

 

 

Not surprisingly, many abusive individuals tend to think in paranoid and problematically rigid ways.






INSECURITIES - ASSUMPTIONS

ASSUMPTIONS OF INSECURITY
 

They tend to RIDGIDLY ATTRIBUTE MALICE to those who disappoint them, OR ACTUALLY POINT OUT WHAT IT IS THEY ARE DOING OR BEING.

ACCUSATION BASED ON JEALOUS ASSUMPTIONS OF INSECURITY
 

 

 

Deploying spectacular powers of rationalization and projection, they see themselves ironically (and, of course, conveniently) habitually as victim—as the betrayed, exploited party—a warped perception that ratchets up their anger, lubricating their impending abusive response.  

 

 

Sometimes underlying abandonment issues (including borderline personality disorder) fuel the possessive/controlling behaviors of abusive individuals.